PoT Anonymous Kink Meme
by akakurogin
Summary: [ONESHOTS?] Written for the meme of the same name. The only installment clean enough to post on FFN. One night at the Senbatsu, Ryou can't fall asleep, and apparently, neither can Atsushi. Angst ahoy! [Kisarazucest]


So as many people know, there's been a little smut meme going around LJ known as the PoT Anonymous Kink Meme on kat8cha's LJ - go take a look if you're of age & interested. I wrote five of them. The others are located on my LJ and are a lot more risque. This one was my favorite and was very low-key with the smut, so I figured I'd post it here.

_Request: Ryou/Atsushi_

_The incest should be kinky enough, ahn?_

Rating: R-NC17  
Pairing: Kisarazu-cest  
Warning: Well, incest. I'm morally opposed to incest, but hey, it's PoT. Normality doesn't exist.  
WC: 1,912 - stupid thing took 4 comments to fit -.-;;

I don't think this was quite what the requester was expecting, but I just started writing and this came out. .;;;; Angsty weepy girly-boys ahoy!

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The first day at the Senbatsu was awkward. Atsushi had come home a few times, and they'd run into each other at some of the tournaments, but it never got any less awkward. "Are you doing well, Atsushi?" Ryou studied his younger brother - he'd lost some weight, and Ryou would never get over Atsushi's haircut. They were twins - they were supposed to look alike. 

"Yes. How're mom and dad?" Atsushi didn't sound half as nervous as Ryou felt. He sounded almost casual, actually.

"The usual. They talk about you a lot. They really wish you'd come home." Ryou shifted uncomfortably.

"I like it at St. Rudolph. I have good friends there." Atsushi sounded, well, happy, which was good. He deserved to be happy. Ryou winced inside though. He thought of Atsushi's doubles partner now - that "dane" guy - and the undoubtedly gay manager that had lured Atsushi away, Mizuki Hajime. He wondered if Atsushi really meant "friends," or if he meant anything more. He wished he didn't have to wonder. "Aniki?"

"Hm?" Ryou blinked, startled out of his musings by Atsushi's unusually soft, questioning tone.

"What about you?"

Ryou stared at Atsushi. It was almost like looking at himself, except it was nothing like looking at himself. "Well, I miss you too... the room feels different without you in it."

"Who're you rooming with? Here, that is. I'm with Mizuki-san."

"I'm with Saeki."

"What if I traded with Sae-san?" Atsushi sounded excited. Ryou's eyes widened.

"You mean..." He trailed off, hardly believing his ears.

"We can share a room again. It'll be just like when we were kids. I'll go tell Mizuki-san right now."

That night, Ryou couldn't sleep. Atsushi was so close - just a bed over. He just had to roll over and he could watch his twin sleep again. But he couldn't. It was so hard, being so close to Atsushi and not being able to touch him. He wasn't sure he could handle just watching him sleep.

"Aniki? Are you awake?" Atsushi's voice was soft, questioning. Ryou pretended to be asleep. He didn't want to have to explain to Atsushi that his mere presence was keeping him awake. He didn't want Atsushi to feel guilty again and trade rooms back with Saeki. "I guess not. Of course not, this is normal, for you." Ryou heard Atsushi's bed creak, probably as Atsushi sat up.

"There's so much I want to tell you. I used to talk to you a lot, after you'd fallen asleep, just like right now."

Ryou forced his muscles to relax, taking slow, even breaths even though his heart was pounding. He didn't know Atsushi used to do that. He wished he did - he'd have stayed awake and listened to every word. Maybe, somewhere, he would've learned what he did wrong that caused Atsushi to leave home, because no matter what Atsushi told him, Ryou knew that he was the reason Atsushi left. Now though, what could Atsushi possibly have to tell him?

"I never told you the real reason why I left home. I only told you it was because St. Rudolph's facilities were good. But it was really because of you, aniki."

Ryou froze. His body felt cold despite being entirely under the covers on a humid summer evening. He knew it - he'd always known it. But still, that didn't answer the main question - what could Atsushi possibly mean? What did he do?

"I-" Atsushi paused.

Ryou stopped breathing. He wanted to shout at Atsushi, to grab Atsushi's shoulders and shake him and shout, "What? You what? What about me?" He wanted to, but he wouldn't, because then Atsushi would never tell him. Atsushi laughed. It was a beautiful sound.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous. You're asleep; you'll never know about this. And that's how it should be, because it's wrong and disgusting. But aniki, I... I love you." The last three words were whispered, but they rang in Ryou's head as though they'd been shouted. He froze. Did he hear right? Did Atsushi actually say the words he'd been dreaming of hearing from his twin's mouth for years? Ryou shifted slightly, trying to find a way to hear better. "I left because I couldn't handle being so close to you and not being able to have you. It was wrong, to think that way. We're both boys, and you're my brother. But, I don't think this can be wrong. Not when just sharing a room with you has made me so happy I can't even fall asleep." Atsushi chuckled, but it was a sad sound, almost a sob, really.

Ryou turned. Atsushi should never make those kinds of sounds, and certainly not because of him. "Atsushi." He pushed the blankets off and sat up.

Atsushi's head whipped around to look at Ryou so fast, it made Ryou's heart ache. His face was mortified, petrified, and lost - so lost. "Aniki, you're- you're awake? Did I wake you?"

"No, I haven't been able to sleep all night." Ryou stood and padded the short distance over to Atsushi's bed. "I heard everything you said." Even though it was night, the moon and streetlights lit the room just enough so that Ryou could see Atsushi's face drain of all color.

"That, that was... a joke. I just wanted to see if you were actually awake." Atsushi turned, unable to meet Ryou's eyes.

Ryou's heart skipped a beat, torn between assuaging Atsushi's fears and letting him panic a little longer. Atsushi was so cute when he panicked, like a baby deer caught in headlights. He could see that later though. Right now, there were more important things at hand. He reached a hand out and cupped Atsushi's cheek, surprised to find it wet with tears. "Atsushi, were you crying? For me?"

Atsushi squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. "Please don't hate me, aniki. I'll ask Sae-san to switch back tomorrow. Just don't kick me out tonight."

Ryou sat down on Atsushi's bed and grasped Atsushi's face in both of his hands. "Look at me, 'Sush." Atsushi looked up, clearly startled at hearing his childhood nickname from Ryou's mouth. Ryou smiled. Atsushi was so beautiful, with the moonlight catching the wet streaks of tears on his cheeks. Ryou felt his own eyes water at the sight, and blinked away the tears. Now wasn't the time for that. He leaned forward, gently kissing his brother's forehead. "I don't hate you, 'Sush." Atsushi closed his eyes, and Ryou kissed his left eyelid. "How can I?" He kissed the right eyelid. "When I." He kissed Atsushi's nose. "Love you so much?" The last was whispered against Atsushi's lips, right before he tilted Atsushi's head and captured his lips for their first kiss. Ryou gently pushed forward until Atsushi was lying on his back. He shoved the covers off the bed and lied down next to his brother.

"You... you love me?" Atsushi's voice was barely a whisper when Ryou released his lips. It almost made Ryou's heart break, to hear his sweet, dear Atsushi sound so lost.

"I do. It hurt so much when you left - I cried, you know." Ryou could feel the wetness stinging at his eyes again, remembering the nights he spent curled up on Atsushi's empty bed, crying silently into the pillow Atsushi had left behind that still smelled like him.

"You're lying." Atsushi turned, refusing to face him. Ryou buried his face into Atsushi's neck, taking a deep breath. Atsushi smelled so sweet, like fresh cut grass and cloudless skies.

"I'm not," he whispered into Atsushi's neck, sticking out his tongue and licking at a tendon, biting at it softly before soothing it with his tongue.

"Liar." Atsushi's gasp sent Ryou's blood straight down to his crotch.

"It's the truth." Ryou ground his groin against Atsushi's hip, letting him feel his arousal.

"God!" Atsushi finally moved, wrapping his arms around Ryou's head, holding his brother close.

"Yes, yes, God. Thank God. Thank God for bringing you back to me." Ryou started unbuttoning Atsushi's pajama top, kissing every bit of skin as it was exposed.

"Aniki, this... ha, this is wrong." Atsushi tried pushing Ryou away even as Ryou pushed the shirt off his shoulders, exposing all of Atsushi's chest for him to see.

"I don't care. I love you, and that can't be wrong." Ryou sat up, quickly shedding his own shirt, before lying back down next to his brother, both boys wearing nothing but their boxers.

"Do you really love me?" Atsushi's eyes were wide open, questioning, searching.

Ryou smiled and looked straight into those beautiful, beautiful eyes. "Yes, I do." Atsushi's eyes fluttered closed as a sob wracked through his body, tears again falling out of the corner of his eyes. "Don't cry, 'Sush. I'm here now." Ryou kissed the tears where they pooled by Atsushi's temples. "I won't ever let you cry again." He gently caressed Atsushi's hip with one hand and, slipping his other hand underneath his brother, pulled him close in a hard, but tender, embrace. He felt something hard pressing against his pelvis, and knew Atsushi was also feeling the same as he felt himself getting more aroused. Ryou kissed Atsushi again, running a hand along the waistband of Atsushi's boxers before asking, "May I?"

Atsushi nodded his reply, unable to command his voice to work, and hid his head against Ryou's neck. Ryou cradled Atsushi's neck, caressing it lightly as his other hand reached inside Atsushi's boxers, letting one finger run lightly along Atsushi's cock, reveling in the feel of Atsushi's entire body shuddering. "Aniki!" The breathy whisper tickled his neck, almost caused him to lose it. He held back his release though, instead circling his hand around Atsushi's cock and started to tug at it lightly, moving his hand in up and down motions. Atsushi's hands wrapped around Ryou, grabbing on his back, pulling them even closer together.

"Call me Ryou," he whispered in to Atsushi's short hair, surprised to hear his own voice breaking.

"Ryou. I love you, Ryou. I always have." Atsushi was crying now, the wetness sliding down between their bodies. Ryou could feel the hot tears dripping onto his arm, and he couldn't let his brother cry alone. His own tears fell into Atsushi's hair as he stroked faster.

"I love you, too, 'Sush," he whispered, just as Atsushi shuddered and came. Ryou took his hands out of Atsushi's boxers and wrapped them around the younger boy's back, holding him tight as the waves of pleasure wracked through his brother's body, mixing with the sobs to cause him to spasm and shake uncontrollably.

"Ryou." Atsushi sniffled as the shivering subsided and he composed himself slightly.

"Shhh. You should sleep." There was a lot to deal with, but that would be for later. Now, he had his twin in his arms, and that was all that mattered.

"What about you?"

"It's OK. We have plenty of time to worry about me. Sleep, 'Sush." Ryou traced light circles in Atsushi's back until the boy's breathing slowed, the exhaustion having caught up and taken Atsushi to dream land. Ryou closed his eyes, willing his erection to go away as he too, drifted off into a sleep filled with dreams of a future where Atsushi returned home and they went to school together and played on the same team together again - a future where they were never apart.

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Should I post the others? They're of much higher rating... don't know if FFN would allow it.  



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